I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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