And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
