I just pynch a tree in the face
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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