Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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