Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
