i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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