He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
