Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
