at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
