Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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