I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
