i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
