Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
