So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
