i will never coherently bang her
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
