Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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