and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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