Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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