i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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