Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
