I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
