Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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