a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
