Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize