He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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