a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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