Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
