Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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