oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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