I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
