that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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