we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
