She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
