Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
