who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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