So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
