I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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