despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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