Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
