So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
