I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
