I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize