I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize