She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Fuck appropriateness.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
