He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
