he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
