Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day

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(952): View more from Minnesota

he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.

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(703): View more from Virginia

We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.

(630): View more from Illinois

just thought you should know her name is kristen

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(630): View more from Illinois

Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.

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(713): View more from Texas

Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...

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(831): View more from California

i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now

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