where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
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note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
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The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?