it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.