I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.