Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
