Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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