So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
