That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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