i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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