i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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