also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
