Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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