My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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