Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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