I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
