I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
