is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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