I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
